Rando Report: What Does a 22-Year-Old Wear To Go Out, Kelly Cutrone, Designer Graphic T-Shirts
Some 22-year-olds wear Doc Martens to go out and dance, others wear rare Free Lance boots.
Today on NEVERWORNS…Rando Report happenings that I’ve been wanting to write about, plus a youthful report from NEVERWORNS producer Simone Carrillo.
Bitchy, Expensive Designer Graphic T-Shirts
My love for designer graphic and logo T-shirts re-spawned after I went on The RealReal and saw an olive green D&G top with saucy little cropped bell sleeves. It has random patches and is emblazoned with “Virginia” a la a sports team. “D&G” makes a cameo in a funky font.
There’s something deliciously demented about translating those cheeky graphic and logo T-shirts we wore in high school into designer-grade products. The pieces are a delightful, stupid, and snobby subversion of a mass trend. I am fully aware that’s a ridiculous and cunty gaze, but that’s what wearing one of these T-shirts is all about…it’s chic douchery. When you’re in your funky T-shirt from, like spring 2001 Chloé, it’s like you’re cackling at the world in your special-IYKYK top that may have well been from a store in the mall or a boardwalk stall but instead goes for a gazillion dollars. The designer graphic (or logo) T-shirt reminds me of the meme where the cartoon walks into the dance party with the think bubble: “No one knows I’m wearing whatever-expensive-ding-dong-thing.”
Speaking of Chloé, I have a few Stella-era graphic T-shirts, like the Taurus zodiac tank top and a top in the perfect shade of Caribbean Sea blue with a massive, juicy pineapple stamped on the front. (This was before the Stella-era Chloé boom, and I got them on the cheap from a proxy site). I also have a stupid Dsquared2 tank in eggplant purple that reads “Teenage Trouble” in highlighter yellow font. There’s also an Anna Sui white tank top made from the most daringly thin, semi-see-through cotton plastered with “I Love Anna” in rhinestones. And remember that whole Nicolas-era Balenciaga “Save the Rainforest” jungle print T-shirt? Those are still bopping around the internet.
How fun! How carefree! Running around with dumb, youthful slogans on my chest like I’m 16 again without a thought in my head! Those kitschy graphics! This D&G top is how I imagine my summer…cavorting around the city in my $24.99 Wrangler jeans and this designer graphic T-shirt that I blew too much on. What is life if you can’t have some idiotic fun? What is life if you can’t apply that mantra to your wardrobe, too?
Post-Partum Clothes…Oy
I had a baby about two and a half weeks ago, so I am getting back into the swing of things.
I’ll have a piece about post-partum dressing coming…if you have thoughts…weigh in! Anything you like to wear? Anything you hated? What don’t people tell you? What do people tell you? DM or leave a comment. You can be anonymous or…not. I’m still navigating this…
Kelly Cutrone Gets Mystical
For the latest issue of Family Style, I interviewed PR maven Kelly Cutrone, who spoke to me about how women need to harness their inner mother and not be afraid to express their feminine ferocity. She brought up how women have been trained to refuse a drink of water or food out of politeness. Been there, done that, and I hate myself for it. Here’s more.
Could I Be a Neck Scarf Girl?
This past week, my friends and former colleagues, Alexandra Gurvitch and Yohana Lebasi, came over with massive rotisserie chickens and orange wine. Since pushing this baby out, I haven’t seen people in about two and a half weeks, which means I haven’t worn anything of interest, nor have I thoughtfully been out in the world. That’s a double-whammy for enjoying what you’re wearing. Zilch!
Anyway, Yohana came over with an orange and green silk scarf daintily wrapped around her neck. She wore it with a black cashmere V-neck and a black mesh Raf Simons turtleneck. We all commented the neck scarf was Tonne Goodman-coded. Goodman, former Fashion Director of Vogue turned the magazine’s Sustainability Editor, has a signature look, often including these white pants (read about that here), a black top or a collared shirt, and a silk scarf.
Yohana got her dainty little scarf from a model she worked on set with. “Double-faced silk scarf vintage Issey Miyake–Hunter green and Hermès orange. Perfect for mild nights with an extra breeze (I’m always cold),” she tells me. Currently, she’s eyeing a Yves Saint Laurent blue and brown fur scarf on The RealReal.
The neck is one of the body's most vulnerable spots, yet we let that nude gullet out constantly as if it’s, like, a beefy, impenetrable bicep. Throat coverage is preppy, uptight, and elegant. Like a royal of yore with a ridiculous ruff! A mean queen! A modest trachea makes me think of Ricky Lauren aka the wife of cosplay-king of WASP style Ralph Lauren. Ms. Lauren is perpetually in something suffocatingly high-necked, which makes her appear instantly regal. A neck accessory is like the bow on a present…it ties everything together.
As for me, when I search for a coat or a jacket, I instinctively look for a collar that covers the throat, like the most recent Saint Laurent show. I have also gone to the tailor to add a button or two to ensure the collar stays fastened closed if I wear it upturned. This is part utility as I get cold easily, but I also believe a covered neck lengthens the body and adds a hardened, city-minded elegance. It’s as if I’m constantly bracing for shit weather—but is there a better look than looking prepared?
PS. Next week, Gurvitch shares the Prada sport-style boots she bought for nada.
What Does a 22-Year-Old Wear To Go Out?
I remember going out in my early 20s in New York. The drunken, almost two-hour-long train rides and zillion transfers it took me to get back to my hovel in Queens…a stone’s throw from JFK. Woof. I feel like I was not chic and out of sorts. On the other hand, Simone, aka my NEVERWORNS producer and right brain, has a fun and sassy look and lives downtown. I’m especially into her Paul Frank T-shirt…remember Erin Magee’s MadeMe had a cutesy collaboration with the brand a few years ago? I miss Paul Frank. Anyways, you can read Simone’s going-out recap below.
Although I am 22 and should not only want but thirst to go out, I instead need to be dragged out. I have never suffered from FOMO (fear of missing out), but I suffer from the lack of routine that ensues the next day after a night out. I am worried about things such as getting enough sleep and having a good run in the morning. But my friends are insistent, and I adore them for this, because, ultimately, I have the best time when I’m out with them, getting into all sorts of mischief. Psyching myself up to stay out in the wee hours is tied