No One Needs an It Bag

I probably won't buy a Balenciaga Le City bag, but I do have an always-worn Vuitton one.

I had a revelation about my nasty bag! Watch #NEVERWORNS here if you haven’t.

Spotted this chic older woman in the Paris City Pharma with version of my bag that wasn’t so…heinous.

Fun fact: Even though I’ve written extensively about the iterations of the Balenciaga Le City bag, I’ve never owned one of the storied carryalls. I was in Paris this week and I saw every young chic thing with the Balenciaga bag. Can’t lie: I was tempted to go on some proxy site and buy one. But then I looked at my own bag—my sad, luxurious sack—and felt a pang of can’t-dump-it. For the past eight years, I’ve been soldered to the most underrated of Louis Vuitton bags, the Multipli-Cité edition, a maximalist relic from the early aughts. It’s hulking; a barnacle with two pockets in the front connected by a long flap cover. The bag is kind of ugly. It’s also kind of beautiful. 

Me as a corporate child in 2017 when the bag saw better days…

So, the thing looks old. It’s a coated canvas Louis Vuitton hauler that has given me scoliosis; a bottomless pit that has encouraged my schlepping. The butterscotch leather straps are filthy, coated in a bubonic grey film. The straps also look like they’ve been gnawed on; the white foam innards now poking out. The broken plastic wires that line the bag are protruding from their casings. Oh yeah, the zipper is broken so I can’t even close it. Each time I place the bag down, it’s like the deformed thing is opening its gaping mouth, showing its innards bursting with computer chargers and tangled headphones. It’s like an old sick dog that won’t go. A luxury chew toy. 

At its core, the bag is raunchy riche and evocative of the rise of the tech-drenched early ‘00s. The diaper bag piece, which is coated in its LV monogram, was created in 2004 under the helm of Marc Jacobs. The most killer feature is that vestigial baby cell phone pocket slapped on the side that’s fit for a Nokia, not an iPhone. Back in the day, this little pocket was a flex, a way for passersby to notice that the wearer could not only afford a Louis Vuitton carryall, but also the expensive tech to go along with it. Swoon. There is nothing more that I love than a killer woman who knows her bitchy worth—and shows it. 

A photo of the bag from yesterday….

Physically, I can really stuff the belongings in there. “It plays the same role as the Neverfull without it being spotted anywhere,” says Alejandro of the Instagram @y2kbags. “I’ve been obsessed with what I’ve been calling ‘cargo bags’ for years now.” Well, this “cargo bag” is giving old country hunch like an old babushka hauling a sack of potatoes, except instead of root vegetables, I’m lugging a 14-inch MacBook Pro that weighs 3.5 pounds; a Gucci Westman lip kit that I swear is a pound of heft; a gargantuam planner that clocks in at 1.3 pounds; and a bloated, two-pound Long Lady Wallet that I could KO anyone with. On any given day, I’m most likely carrying around 10 pounds of stuff slung over my shoulder. I once wrote about how I hated carrying things because it reminded me of feeling disheveled while working at a glossy magazine office. But whatever: This is life. I need to haul something—or in my case, everything. The piece allows me to carry my life with me as if I’m ready to hit the road at any moment—and I like that comfort.

The bag and what it is supposed to look like.

Sure, I’ve waxed poetic about It bags: the Marc Jacobs’s Stam, the YSL Mombasa, the Proenza Schouler PS1, and, of course, the Balenciaga Le City Bag (City, Le Dix, Motorcycle). I’ve looked for one of these on eBay or Poshmark or some site in Japan. I’ve been offered a bags over the years through work. Trendy brands with delicious suedes; sleek leathers; sturdy canvases. Whatever! I’ve even tried to replace this rag tag sack with its refined cousin: a slick, sturdy, and stiff Louis Vuitton Luco bag. But I can’t do it. It’s not that I don’t want an It bag that many people already have, I just can’t justify replacing this bag when it already works for me. This is my very own It bag! 

Whenever I feel icky about dragging the same bacteria-slathered bag around, I remember the epic ladies who have carried their bags into grossdom. Jane Birkin, had her scratched, faded, and bruised Birkin, which resembled the desk of a disheveled ambulance chasing lawyer when she emptied it. There is also the Olsens. We can all agree that Mary-Kate’s wine-stained mint Balenciaga City bag was absolutely disgusting. Honestly, I’m surprised she didn’t catch a flesh-eating disease lugging that thing into every bicoastal crevice. 

This bag is a vaccination in itself.

Don’t get me wrong. I love It bags. My heart wants them all. Like I said, when I was in Paris, I saw these cool chicks walking around the city in their low-slung jeans, towing their Le Citys along like an insolent toddler—and well, I wanted one. Though, it wasn’t until I went into City Pharma to buy a felony hoard of Nuxe creams that I really felt a sense of relief from my It bag urges: I spotted the most manicured older French woman wearing a pink and red tweed jacket, carrying the adult version of my bag—the Viva-Cité—sans the anachronistic phone pocket. Her bag was in perfect condition although the Louis Vuitton Cité series has been discontinued since around 2008. (Nicolas Ghesquière put out a tiny version in fall 2022). This woman obviously has had her bag for a long time. Turns out I’m not the only one with their own long-loved It bag. 

Latest episode of #NEVERWORNS…but a new one coming soon ;-).