I Need It #5: My $25 Gem-Slathered Going-Out Mule

I wear the heels to weddings, dinners, and when I want to feel like an editor from 1999.

Remember these?!

I have what I call “deus ex machina” heels: savior shoes that can pull together even the most pathetic of outfits. My pairs are baroque babe and rococo ridiculous, like someone dipped the mules into a vat of gems. They even have a nipple heel, to boot. (There is also a delightful cone heel version!) If I had a nickel for each time someone asked me about the shoes, I’d be able to buy 20 more. They are roughly $25 before resoling and taps. Still, not bad.

I bought two pairs in black and white a few years ago while I was dawdling in