Closet Psyche: The Greatest Leather Coat I Never Wore

In the new series Closet Psyche, I talk why I bought but never wore a great leather coat. Next guest, next week.

Welcome to Closet Psyche, a series in which I schmatta shrink aka analyze chic people through their NEVERWORNS. I do a lot of closet cleansing for others but I figured…why not start with myself? Work with me through my obsession with outwear and how I’m trying to cleanse my closet of that leather excess while also making better shopping decisions. PS. Stay tuned for next week’s Closet Psyche guest—plus a new season of NEVERWORNS is inching closer and closer! 

Name: Liana Satenstein

Profession: Writer…consultant…host with a bedazzled mic the size of a small planet…

Describe your shopping style Online resale shopping…except for James Veloria, the most democratic, for-the-kids vintage located in the Chinatown mall. 

Where are your favorite places to shop? The RealReal, eBay, Poshmark, James Veloria.

What is the NEVERWORNS item? A shapeless hooded leather coat. It reminds me of something a drunk Slavic man would wear. Huge looming pockets. 

Where did you buy it? The Garment District, a vintage / secondhand store in Cambridge, Massachusetts.  

When did you buy it? In August.

Why did you buy it? I am a sucker for leather outerwear; it’s my shopping Achilles heel. For this coat, I liked the ominous Grim Reaper hood and insulating padding. It has a certain city-minded bite. I also love that it is a sack, which isn’t usually how I dress, but hear me out: This piece is a “what’s under there coat”, which is outerwear that is formless, baggy, and keeps you wondering, “well, what’s under there?”

The piece reminds me of the large coats Kim Bassinger wore in the beginning of 9 1/2 Weeks (1986) before her sexual awakening with Mickey Rourke. A bit boyish, a bit cocoon-y. Like Bassinger’s big outerwear, this leather coat possesses that same “great curves swimming in something oversized” silhouette. The fact that there’s no visible dip in the hip is exactly why the bombshell’s shapeless outerwear worked so well. The piece forces us to use our imagination.

Ok, that’s nice but when is the last time you wore it? Never…oy

What emotional state were you in when you bought it? I was with my best friend hanging out in Boston and we were having a really, really fun time. I hadn’t been to The Garment District in ages. In high school, I’d shop the racks and the dollar-a-pound pile with friends and try to recreate model-off-duty looks from TheFashionSpot.com. It was the place that I was frequenting when I finally started to figure out how I wanted to dress. Plus, the coat was about $55, which seemed doable.

Dig a bit deeper? I’m Patient Zero! Even though I do closet cleansing for others, I have my own herd of cowhide skeletons in my closet. Like I said, I love leather coats and jackets; they have a transformative quality. I have a sleek Wilson’s leather blazer that turns me into proper Brit sylph Gwyneth Paltrow in Sliding Doors (1998) while a hulking biker jacket has the effect of Carré Otis in those Calvin Klein motorcycle ads. Leather coats do more than a tailored suit; leather jackets do more than a sexy dress. Perhaps, this is because leather is innately protective; there’s a whisper of violence and dominance thanks to the material’s physical toughness. 

But, we all know that I already have enough coats and jackets. So what motivated me to buy this particular one in the first place? What exactly made me pull out my wallet?

The Diagnosis

1. I was having a Great Time with my friend. Serotonin pouring out of me. Shopping while under the influence of a great time is like when we go out with our friends and everyone is having a stellar night drinking. You want to keep the good times rolling. So, what’s one more glass of wine? Or a couple cold shots of vodka? Think of it like this: Good times can cause hangovers just like a great piece of clothing can cause interest that hangs over your credit score. 

2. I have Nostalgic Memories about The Garment District. This was the place where I lost my clothing virginity. I would take the train with my friends and smoke a pack of Camels throughout the city, while fumbling our way through the Red Line to find this Narnia of vintage. Times were so simple back then! Now, who doesn’t want to keep those warm, fuzzy, and unjaded Nostalgic Memories going? Don’t fall for it!

3. The Price Wasn’t That Bad. Sure, the price is never that bad until all of those small purchases eventually add up. Plus, these sorts of purchases often extend beyond money: They bloat our closet and siphon space. No appreciated capital here.