Closet Psyche: Cleansing Max of SSENSE Sales, Online Poker Buys, and Carrots
Max's love for SSENSE sales got too out of hand. So, I'm here in Chicago to help!
Welcome to Closet Psyche, a series in which I schmatta shrink aka analyze chic people through their NEVERWORNS. I’m in Chicago currently cleansing out the bursting closet of a very sweet, buff man by the name of Max who has TOO many things. The former online poker player’s garb ranges from a baby soft lavender Brunello Cucinelli sweater from The RealReal, freaktastic sculptural pieces by Doublet from an SSENSE sale, a lot of carrot-themed merch (I will get into this later), and then…the art scarf situation, which I talk about below.
Name: Max
Profession: Max is a former online poker player. He’s currently working on a poker educational course that will teach people how to use poker fundamentals to learn math and decision-making. Max also works on the Old Jewish Men Value Guide.
Describe your shopping style: Max shops a lot online, mostly for used things and sale items. According to him, “I try to find things that either speak to me in some category or are a little bit unique.”
Where do you do your shopping? eBay, The RealReal, SSENSE.
What is the NEVERWORNS item? It is a “beautiful scarf” made by the German brand BLESS. “I had a short phase a year ago when I was really into BLESS because they make a lot of unique things. Some of their things are art objects,” says Max.
Where did you buy it? SSENSE
Was it on sale? Yes
Can you explain your obsession with sales? “It is kind of falling for their game because I think the standard thing is to price things very high and then put them on sale. I realize buying something on sale from my perspective feels like winning because I’m getting it on a deep discount but clearly if there are so many of these things I’ve never worn...I think I fell for the trick.”
When did you buy it? “A year ago.”
Were you searching for scarves at the time? “I was looking more at the brand.”
Why did you buy it? Max is in Chicago, and it is cold here. (Currently below zero, great.) At the time, he thought that he should start wearing scarves, but hated the idea of tying them. “This seemed like a potentially easier version,” he tells me. Sure, this scarf doesn’t have to be tied and instead, it just plops over the head and sits on the neck. The only thing? This BLESS scarf is not warm; it’s like wearing a demented Italian noodle on the shoulders.
Why didn’t he wear it? Max never wore the scarf because it just…never worked out. There was the thought of returning it, but guess what? He never returned it.
THE DIAGNOSIS
Note: Max is a reformed very avid shopper. He’s no longer buying as much as he did. He recognizes the issue, and we are here in Chicago cleaning up the end of it. In the process, we’re finding out what works best for him. He’s going to get on with his life and that’s great!
For several years, Max was under what I call Sale Hypnosis, meaning he can’t resist a sale. I get it. We get it. The whole point of a flashy sale sign is to draw us in and make us think that we are getting a stellar deal. We tend to think that shopping sales is an impulsive response; primary gut-thinking accompanied by quick clicks. In a way, that is true. But Max is a deeply logical thinker. He played online poker for five years professionally; a game that hinges on strategy and odds. “I think poker gets you to think in a very kind of rational way, and so maybe in a very overly analytical way,” he says. “Maybe there’s some kind of just default thinking that, ‘oh, this thing is worth X and if I’m getting it for 70% off of X,’ and then it’s like, ‘this must be a great deal.’” In other words, being too logical has become an issue and this way of thinking trickles more into his daily life. Max, who is a hulking human calculator, buys bulk in Costco because it is the best value, he impeccably knows his way around accruing air miles, and for a project, he has weighed pastrami on a scale to find out what deli offers the most nitrates for your buck. Also, he always makes the girl pay on the date for value purposes…ok, that last one was a joke!
Still life. Something I’m curious about is whether the dopamine release of winning at online poker and buying a sale item is similar. I would imagine that after five years of playing online poker daily for hours and hours, that the dopamine payoff of winning comes in staccato spurts. When Max stopped playing online poker, did those short dopamine releases translate into buying sale items? Did he apply a logical, poker-minded way of thinking to justify nabbing a 60 percent off Doublet hoodie with a three-dimensional embroidered sheep on the back? Was the feeling of buying on sale and winning a match the same? I’m not totally sure but I think it may be related. We’ll dig more into this. Stay tuned. I’ll be posting daily on Instagram about working with Max.
Side note, new NEVERWORNS series coming soon. Keep up by watching an episode below!
God Max is so relatable- reading the scarf sentence reminds me of how I went berserk and bought 6 Alexander mcqueen scarves in one year thanks to ssense sales. I get it my dude.
Liana, I am new to your newsletter but I can already tell you have knowledge for me ;) When you wrote about "Sale Hypnosis, meaning he can’t resist a sale." I was like, wait is she writing about me?!